Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Is President Sarah Palin a Sober Tool?
No, I don’t think Governor Palin is a druggie.
However, now that there are over 13 million web pages declaring that Sarah Palin is stupid, she needs to cash in.
Sarah, here’s what you do. Run for President. It just so happens that lyrics to the Tool song “Sober” are tailor made for your run for the presidency. For instance, one line of the song says “I am just an imbecile.”
The only drawback with the lyrics is that with the possible exception of the “imbecile” line, the words apply equally well to Barack Obama and every other politician I have ever heard of.
I especially like lyric that goes “Trust in me and fall as well.” Gawd, that’s your favorite political operative, whatever party you hale from, all over. And then there is the line “I am just a worthless liar.” Every politician ever born was a worthless liar. It’s what they do.
Meanwhile, back at Sarah Palin. Sarah, get some spandex, some tight leather outfits, a cat of nine tails and lots and lots of chrome. Make voting for you a fetish! Play that creepy video that sometimes accompanies Tool’s “Sober” at your campaign rallies. The video with the manic, addicted puppet.
For all Sarah Palin wannbes and supporters may I suggest that you get on over to YouTube and find your own Sober Tool and creepy puppet.
Sarah should also come out with a line of Sarah Palin blow up dolls dressed as a hunter or a police woman as well as life size cardboard cutouts for her fans and and a dartboard with her likeness for her detractors…
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Saturday, May 28, 2011
God is Busy: Doomsday has been Postponed until Oct 21st 2011–At Least
Sounds like Harold Egbert Camping is saying the Third time is the charm. The number one False Prophet above ground has said WHOOPS! MY BAD!!! Two times before. Now he is saying that the at the end of the 5 month period know as the tribulation the Lord will surely come, grab old Harold by his top knot and yank him off to heaven. If nothing else, the time for the second coming is now closer to that other day of possible celestial significance. 11/11/11. At about the 11th hour on the 11th day, 11th years past the millennium, playful Angels from the 11th heaven are due to come through the 11th Gate and make Whoopee, and I don’t mean Goldberg. So wax your wings Holy people, if you don’t get raptured on Oct 21 you might be carried to heaven by cherubim and seraphim.
God is Busy: Doomsday has been Postponed until Oct 21st 2011–At Least
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Can Angels come between you and certain destruction in a kind of Angelic Doomsday Intervention? Will they?
Suppose it’s all a test. But it’s not the test you think it is. The test seeks to discover if you will be a smug, selfish, self satisfied bastard secure in your own salvation and delighting in the damnation of others. After all, the chief article of instruction of the faith was an example of sacrifice of the worthy for the unworthy. The Holy for the unHoly. When the end came did you cry out for the Lord to save the billions in China and India who never had a chance to hear the word or did you in effect flip the world the bird and say: “So long Suckers!!!” If you did latter, you might not wind up where you think you are going to wind up….
Angelic Doomsday Intervention
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11th Gate of the Eleventh Heaven: A Conspiracy of Angels
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| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
Remember the 9/9/9 celebration? It is interesting that you can derive it from the 11:11 conspiracy thusly:
(1 / 1) / 11 = 0.0909090909
It is intriguing that Acts 1:1-11 speaks of days, times and Ascended beings.
Even Oprah is being used to broadcast missives of 11:11
11 is an irreducible, master number
Revelation 19:11 ” And I saw heaven open…”
***
Window Rock. Stone poetry for 090909. What rises from the desert under the moonlight.
21 Dec 2012: The end of the World
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Golf Balls Killed the Loch Ness Monster
It is better to be drunk than wasted
Looking for God in an Atom Smasher
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Abstract , Digital, Fractal Designs and Art for 11,1.1.11,1.11.11,11.11.11
By poetryman69
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Abstract , Digital, Fractal Designs and Art for 11,1/1/11,1/11/11,11/11/11
By poetryman69
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Lucky New Year. Good fortune. Propitious 1/1/11. 1.1.11. 1 Jan 2011.
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Abstract Digital Art Inspired by 11/11/11
By poetryman69
How to Celebrate 1/1/11 and 2011
How to Celebrate 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11:11 and 11/11/11
2011 the Year of the Shiny Bunny
Predictions for 2011, the Year of the Yin Metal Rabbit
The Suns of Thunder Meet the Sisters of the Moon
Flower Poetry:
General Subject Poetry:
***
Harold Egbert Camping Says Judgement Day and The Rapture are on 5-21-11
How to Prepare for the End of the World on May 21 2011
Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
5/21/2011 5-21-2011 5-21-11 5/21/11 May 21 2011 5.21.2011 5.21.11 End of Days
1 Week Until The Rapture And Tribulation
May 20th, 2011 by poetryman69
Some folks say you’d best be born again by 21 May 2011 or it will be too late. The Messiah is coming back they say and you’ll find out too late when that world-wide earthquake hits.
As for me, I will begin Saturday, May 21st 2011 by drinking tea. Then I may eat a bagel. One of the left over bagels from the office. Perhaps with a honey infused cream cheese shmear.
After that I will go up on a ladder and stain a tall wooden fence for an hour or two.
I will look at my experiments. I cut some rose canes and jammed them into the earth with little preparation. Sure there was a lot of dying but one of those bad boys must have rooted because it is sprouting new leaves.
I will check on my more conventional rose cutting experiments. This is a weekly task. I used some rooting solution and put the cuttings in jars with a little earth and covered each jar with translucent plastic so that the results is like a miniature hot house. Most of these cuttings have sprouted new growth. I will plant them in the front yard after the End Times have come and gone. June 1st seems a good day to plant.
Then I will take a shower.
I will watch a little TV after the shower.
Then I will sit down and blog. Out of deference to God and and all I will save that blog about that cheating on your wife website and that dating a cougar site for after Judgment day. Yeah, I don’t think the good Lord would be down with those postings so I will do them on Sunday instead…
The CDC has declared a Zombie Apocalypse, I could blog about that. Some dude at Cannes has declared himself to be a proud Nazi. I will certainly flush a toilet in his honor but I don’t know that I want to go as far as blogging about him. Perhaps I will render flatulence in his general direction.
At the end of the End of World day, I will have dinner with the wife. And then I will take a shower. And then I will go to bed. I will wake up on 22 May 2011 and perhaps I will discover that 21 May 2011 was the most uneventful day in the history of he world. Let us pray that this is so.
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Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
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In Case Of Rapture, this Blog Will Be Unmanned
Well, if the Good Lord ignores my sins of last week…And my doubts of yesterday (Can God make a stone so heavy he can’t lift it?). And my many indiscretions and impure thoughts of 5 minutes ago…
On second thought, Where’s the Guns and Ammo? I hear Tribulation is gonna be a real bear!!!
The cutest thing I have heard concerning the rapture watch was some atheist saying: Wouldn’t it be funny if the atheists hid from the Christians on 21 May 2011.
Gee atheist, the problem is: How would the Christians know you were hiding? Sorry but they wouldn’t miss you. No one is going to go looking for you. There are not enough of you to miss. Hide if you like atheists but trust me: No one will notice. Be sure to tell everyone on 22 May 2011 that you were hiding out. So we can all look puzzled. It’s kind of like those illegal aliens who decided to punish Americans by going on strike. They wanted to do “A day without a Mexican.” They stopped that stuff quick when they heard people saying things like” I’ve been real, real, extra naughty and I deserve even more punishment. How about a Year? Maybe 10 years? How about you punish us with 20 years of not gracing us with your presence. We have so many people lining up for jobs at McDonald’s that I think there are longer jobs that Americans won’t do.
Are you Rapture Ready?
I know the some atheists, the ones who want to help out are ready for the Rapture. Why I have heard that the Blasphemers have volunteered to save the pets of Believers…for a fee.
Also, some helpful atheists have started a Rapture Relief fund. I know all good Christians will mail a whole penny to help those folks out!
There used to be bumper stickers that read something like “Caution. In case of Rapture, this car will be Unmanned.”
Some hold that believers will be spirited off to heaven.
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Bummer, I did hear one naysayer trying to spoil my fun. He said that all of this talk of Rapture will hurt the faith when the Rapture does not come.
Darn it you are spoiling some good Doomsday fun!
You are reminding me that I may be having some amusement at the expense at the simple-minded who don’t seem to realize that it means when the End of Days has been prophesied so many times but never happened even once. Sorry dudes but the probability is infinitesimal no matter what anyone says.
I guess I have been sort of poking sticks at the monkey cages. But those monkeys threw poo first!!!
See you on Judgment Day!
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5/21/2011 5-21-2011 5-21-11 5/21/11 May 21 2011 5.21.2011
By poetryman69
One of the more fascinating outcomes of the world wide wait for 5-21-2011 is what the naysayers are saying. Ordinarily, a lot of Americans view opinions, even outrageous opinions in the same as they view belly buttons. Everyone has one. No big deal.
But suddenly when it comes to believers in the Rapture spending their own money publicizing their beliefs, there is a great deal of outrage both over the amount of money being spent and the message being sent.
There was a great deal less outrage when Kate and William spent $34 million on a royal wedding.
On the other hand, when one hears about an unemployed woman spending her last dime on billboards proclaiming the end times it does seem sad. Well, it’s probably better than having her spend her last dime on lottery tickets…maybe….
I guess I can only object about the absurd delusions of others when they expect me to pay for them.
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Judgment Day: Atheists Gone to the Dogs.
Harold Egbert Camping, a self-styled Biblical prophet has predicted the end of days…Again. This time it’s on 21 May 2011.
Some atheists are cashing in on the Christian belief that when Christ comes again, true believers will be snatched up into the air in an event known as the rapture. No dog or cat, no matter how good a pet it was, will go with their master. So atheists have offered to watch the pets should the Christians go floating away–for a fee…
It is said that 3% of the world will be raptured so that uncomfortable moment when that tractor-trailer truck barreling down on you suddenly becomes unmanned and goes out of control will be like as not be rare enough not to give it much thought. I would imagine that for those left behind things will still be safer in communist countries, atheist countries and other officially non-Christian nations.
Look at it this way, someone’s world will end on 5/21/2011. But maybe not in the say they think it will…
Happy Armed Forces Day in Advance!
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ban The Dog Crap
If it is such a good idea for your dog to go somewhere and take a crap, if we are all supposed to be so understanding when you mutt marks it’s territory , then let the dog mark your yard. You go ahead and fulfill that promise of picking up the dog crap off your own yard because those of us who don’t have a dog don’t want to deal with it.
Why is it up to me all of a sudden to spend hundreds of dollars a year trying to find a potion or powder that the dogs will avoid? I don’t like the smell of those dog repellent chemicals either.
If only one of those sonic or ultrasonic Rube Goldberg dog repellent devices worked. But as far as I can see, none of them do. In theory, since dogs can hear and smell things we cannot, the trick to keeping the neighbors dog from using my lawn as a toilet should be easy. I am thinking that they must keep the good stuff, the heavy artillery, under lock and key in the laboratories. They can’t let out the real dog repellent because it might hurt real dogs or what is much, much worse, they might not be able to sell any more of the cheap, stinky chemical mess that doesn’t work well and is washed away in the first rain.
Does it ever seem to you that everyone and everything from government to wall street to doctors and department stores is one long line of thieves, hanging you up side down and shaking you until the money falls out? They rarely deliver anything except side effects, stench, complications, broken equipment, and lawyers for the money they steal from you.
I think I shall do some deeper research. I shall look, on the sly, for plants that dogs don’t like. Then I shall rip out all my grass and plant dog hater plants. I am sure I shall not like the plants either but I have had enough of the neighbor smugly using my yard for his dog’s toilet while taking scrupulous care that the dog never craps in his yard.
And oh by the way, there is a dog run, less than a stone’s throw away, across the street…
Just saw some really stupid quote. Something like : “The more I see of men, the more I like of dogs.” Or something like that. Tell me Einstein, when is the last time a man took a crap in your yard in broad daylight and in full public view? What a moron.
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Sunday, May 22, 2011
Don’t Buy the Dog Crap
If you are house hunting be sure to walk the yard. If there are dog feces in the yard but the owner claims to have no dog, pass on the house. The neighbor’s dog clearly already thinks of the lawn as his own personal toilet. Do you really want to fight that battle?
Speaking of an ideal world, wouldn’t it be nice to find out if your neighbors throw loud midnight parties before you move in? But what are you going to do, sleep in your car outside the house to check the goings on in the neighborhood?
Well house stalker, as long as you are about it, you may as well check to see if planes, trains or noisy automobiles run past the house at three o’clock in the morning. The problem with this question is that you yourself need to be awake at 3AM to answer it honestly. Every sane person will claim his neighborhood to be perfectly quiet and cozy when he is trying to sell you his house.
Some other nice things to know might be: Do the neighborhood kids think it is their divine right to use the street in front of the house you are going to buy as an absolutely brilliant place to play soccer or touch football?
And let’s get back to the dogs. Does the whole neighborhood parade with their dogs over the sidewalk in front the house? If so, don’t buy the house. All dog owners lie. You lawn will be crapped on.
How close is the house to the great outdoors? If you can see water now then you will feel mosquitoes sooner or later. Lake front property implies lake front mosquitoes.
Is there an oak tree in the yard? If the answer is yes then congratulations you’ve got squirrels. And with squirrels come mysterious holes in the ground as the squirrels insist on burying nuts in the fall and digging them up in the winter. If for instance, you make the mistake of putting your bulb plants directly over nut central, your bulbs will be dug up and discarded. No malice intended but sometimes, as the commercial jingle goes, you feel like a nut.
Are there many birds in the area? Birds can be fascinating to watch but birds poop where they live. Even the bright red cardinal is best watched from across the street.
Are their cute fuzzy bunnies? Then prepare to step on rabbit crap. It really is too bad that rabbits don’t eat enough grass and weeds to make themselves good gardeners.
By the way, rabbits attract cats that are considerably larger than house cats…
If you are in a place like Texas, then even armadillos may be attracted to your new yard. Armadillos are the only animal I know of that carry leprosy. Yeah that Biblical disease that kills nerves, damages skin, results in body parts falling off, is really bad for vampires, and gets you shunned. You may have to put up with the armored pigs but don’t touch them and don’t feed them. Let animal control take care of the dead ones if at all possible.
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Saturday, May 21, 2011
Angelic Doomsday Intervention
Can Angels come between you and certain destruction in a kind of Angelic Doomsday Intervention? Will they?
Suppose it’s all a test. But it’s not the test you think it is. The test seeks to discover if you will be a smug, selfish, self satisfied bastard secure in your own salvation and delighting in the damnation of others. After all, the chief article of instruction of the faith was an example of sacrifice of the worthy for the unworthy. The Holy for the unHoly. When the end came did you cry out for the Lord to save the billions in China and India who never had a chance to hear the word or did you in effect flip the world the bird and say: “So long Suckers!!!” If you did latter, you might not wind up where you think you are going to wind up….
Angelic Doomsday Intervention
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11th Gate of the Eleventh Heaven: A Conspiracy of Angels
***
***
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
| 11 | 11 | 11 |
Remember the 9/9/9 celebration? It is interesting that you can derive it from the 11:11 conspiracy thusly:
(1 / 1) / 11 = 0.0909090909
It is intriguing that Acts 1:1-11 speaks of days, times and Ascended beings.
Even Oprah is being used to broadcast missives of 11:11
11 is an irreducible, master number
Revelation 19:11 ” And I saw heaven open…”
***
Window Rock. Stone poetry for 090909. What rises from the desert under the moonlight.
21 Dec 2012: The end of the World
***
***
Golf Balls Killed the Loch Ness Monster
It is better to be drunk than wasted
Looking for God in an Atom Smasher
***
Abstract , Digital, Fractal Designs and Art for 11,1.1.11,1.11.11,11.11.11
By poetryman69
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Abstract , Digital, Fractal Designs and Art for 11,1/1/11,1/11/11,11/11/11
By poetryman69
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Lucky New Year. Good fortune. Propitious 1/1/11. 1.1.11. 1 Jan 2011.
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Abstract Digital Art Inspired by 11/11/11
By poetryman69
How to Celebrate 1/1/11 and 2011
How to Celebrate 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11:11 and 11/11/11
2011 the Year of the Shiny Bunny
Predictions for 2011, the Year of the Yin Metal Rabbit
The Suns of Thunder Meet the Sisters of the Moon
Flower Poetry:
General Subject Poetry:
***
Harold Egbert Camping Says Judgement Day and The Rapture are on 5-21-11
How to Prepare for the End of the World on May 21 2011
Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
5/21/2011 5-21-2011 5-21-11 5/21/11 May 21 2011 5.21.2011 5.21.11 End of Days
1 Week Until The Rapture And Tribulation
May 20th, 2011 by poetryman69
Some folks say you’d best be born again by 21 May 2011 or it will be too late. The Messiah is coming back they say and you’ll find out too late when that world-wide earthquake hits.
As for me, I will begin Saturday, May 21st 2011 by drinking tea. Then I may eat a bagel. One of the left over bagels from the office. Perhaps with a honey infused cream cheese shmear.
After that I will go up on a ladder and stain a tall wooden fence for an hour or two.
I will look at my experiments. I cut some rose canes and jammed them into the earth with little preparation. Sure there was a lot of dying but one of those bad boys must have rooted because it is sprouting new leaves.
I will check on my more conventional rose cutting experiments. This is a weekly task. I used some rooting solution and put the cuttings in jars with a little earth and covered each jar with translucent plastic so that the results is like a miniature hot house. Most of these cuttings have sprouted new growth. I will plant them in the front yard after the End Times have come and gone. June 1st seems a good day to plant.
Then I will take a shower.
I will watch a little TV after the shower.
Then I will sit down and blog. Out of deference to God and and all I will save that blog about that cheating on your wife website and that dating a cougar site for after Judgment day. Yeah, I don’t think the good Lord would be down with those postings so I will do them on Sunday instead…
The CDC has declared a Zombie Apocalypse, I could blog about that. Some dude at Cannes has declared himself to be a proud Nazi. I will certainly flush a toilet in his honor but I don’t know that I want to go as far as blogging about him. Perhaps I will render flatulence in his general direction.
At the end of the End of World day, I will have dinner with the wife. And then I will take a shower. And then I will go to bed. I will wake up on 22 May 2011 and perhaps I will discover that 21 May 2011 was the most uneventful day in the history of he world. Let us pray that this is so.
***
Doomsday: How Will You Spend Your Last Day On Earth?
***
In Case Of Rapture, this Blog Will Be Unmanned
Well, if the Good Lord ignores my sins of last week…And my doubts of yesterday (Can God make a stone so heavy he can’t lift it?). And my many indiscretions and impure thoughts of 5 minutes ago…
On second thought, Where’s the Guns and Ammo? I hear Tribulation is gonna be a real bear!!!
The cutest thing I have heard concerning the rapture watch was some atheist saying: Wouldn’t it be funny if the atheists hid from the Christians on 21 May 2011.
Gee atheist, the problem is: How would the Christians know you were hiding? Sorry but they wouldn’t miss you. No one is going to go looking for you. There are not enough of you to miss. Hide if you like atheists but trust me: No one will notice. Be sure to tell everyone on 22 May 2011 that you were hiding out. So we can all look puzzled. It’s kind of like those illegal aliens who decided to punish Americans by going on strike. They wanted to do “A day without a Mexican.” They stopped that stuff quick when they heard people saying things like” I’ve been real, real, extra naughty and I deserve even more punishment. How about a Year? Maybe 10 years? How about you punish us with 20 years of not gracing us with your presence. We have so many people lining up for jobs at McDonald’s that I think there are longer jobs that Americans won’t do.
Are you Rapture Ready?
I know the some atheists, the ones who want to help out are ready for the Rapture. Why I have heard that the Blasphemers have volunteered to save the pets of Believers…for a fee.
Also, some helpful atheists have started a Rapture Relief fund. I know all good Christians will mail a whole penny to help those folks out!
There used to be bumper stickers that read something like “Caution. In case of Rapture, this car will be Unmanned.”
Some hold that believers will be spirited off to heaven.
***
Bummer, I did hear one naysayer trying to spoil my fun. He said that all of this talk of Rapture will hurt the faith when the Rapture does not come.
Darn it you are spoiling some good Doomsday fun!
You are reminding me that I may be having some amusement at the expense at the simple-minded who don’t seem to realize that it means when the End of Days has been prophesied so many times but never happened even once. Sorry dudes but the probability is infinitesimal no matter what anyone says.
I guess I have been sort of poking sticks at the monkey cages. But those monkeys threw poo first!!!
See you on Judgment Day!
***
5/21/2011 5-21-2011 5-21-11 5/21/11 May 21 2011 5.21.2011
By poetryman69
One of the more fascinating outcomes of the world wide wait for 5-21-2011 is what the naysayers are saying. Ordinarily, a lot of Americans view opinions, even outrageous opinions in the same as they view belly buttons. Everyone has one. No big deal.
But suddenly when it comes to believers in the Rapture spending their own money publicizing their beliefs, there is a great deal of outrage both over the amount of money being spent and the message being sent.
There was a great deal less outrage when Kate and William spent $34 million on a royal wedding.
On the other hand, when one hears about an unemployed woman spending her last dime on billboards proclaiming the end times it does seem sad. Well, it’s probably better than having her spend her last dime on lottery tickets…maybe….
I guess I can only object about the absurd delusions of others when they expect me to pay for them.
***
***
Judgment Day: Atheists Gone to the Dogs.
Harold Egbert Camping, a self-styled Biblical prophet has predicted the end of days…Again. This time it’s on 21 May 2011.
Some atheists are cashing in on the Christian belief that when Christ comes again, true believers will be snatched up into the air in an event known as the rapture. No dog or cat, no matter how good a pet it was, will go with their master. So atheists have offered to watch the pets should the Christians go floating away–for a fee…
It is said that 3% of the world will be raptured so that uncomfortable moment when that tractor-trailer truck barreling down on you suddenly becomes unmanned and goes out of control will be like as not be rare enough not to give it much thought. I would imagine that for those left behind things will still be safer in communist countries, atheist countries and other officially non-Christian nations.
Look at it this way, someone’s world will end on 5/21/2011. But maybe not in the say they think it will…
Happy Armed Forces Day in Advance!
***
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