It actually does matter where you take that drug test prior to getting that new job. You might think: Just get me the address of some near by place and let’s get it over with! Big mistake. You want a lab not a clinic. If they give you a clinic that just happens to do drug testing as a sideline, you could find yourself sandwiched in between crying babies and soap operas for the better part of an after noon.
And as per usual, the sexy blonde in the shorts has a geeky looking boyfriend constantly scanning the crowd to see if anyone is checking her out. So you can’t really check her out.
Worse, you might be stuck in a stiff chair when some doctor comes on the tube and promises Martha Stewart that he can eliminate stiffness by complex and arcane manipulation of Martha’s flawless porcelain digits…
Then at last someone demands that you empty your pockets (yeah the wallet too) and pee into cup up to this line
!~~~~~~~~~~!
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Best Booger Eating Glue Sniffer on the Short Bus Award
I was minding my own business when some of the Losers on a Dallas sports radio talk show called “The Ticket” did a supposed comedy bit wherein they received some great and prestigious radio award. I have no idea what the bit contained because I turned the radio off and pondered what kind of award one would give a pack of walking fart jokes who engage in audio auto-eroticism 5 times per week. I finally hit upon it: Best Booger Eating Glue Sniffer on the Short Bus Award
Then I thought, who else deserves this award:
1) The Obama Administration for
A) Giving the company with the world’s worst safety record a permit to drill oil in the Gulf
B) Lying about every piece of legislation they have every supported. The day after anything passes, the opposite of everything they said turns out to be true, starting with: “It will save money.”
C) Acting stupidly by firing a woman for racism and then begging her to come back the next day. Ready. Fire. Aim.
2) BP for being too cheap to do it right the first time.
3) Mel Gibson for hating blacks and Jews and beating women
4) Anyone who admires Mao, Castro, or Hugo Chavez who then lies and says they are not communists. If you sit around admiring communists, you are a communist! Even if you say are say, a lesbian supreme court justice.
5) Anyone who states or implies that God would want you to pay higher taxes. No, but Karl Marx, if he were alive, would.
6) NAACP for calling Tea Baggers racist whilst fronting for the New Black Panthers. Unlike the Tea Baggers, the Panthers are on record with their plans to kill children.
7) People who compare a million dollar athlete with a slave. Get a grip. If you get 10 million dollars to play a child’s game–when you want to–you are not a slave. And if your punishment for not working hard is to get a million dollars less next year, you are definitely not a slave.
8) Politicians who get fiscally responsible only when they are out of power. Thanks for nothing Republicans!
9) Politicians who do not read legislation but have their asses on fire to pass it quick!
10) Losers who instead of gracefully accepting defeat call their opponent stupid or racist or both.
11) Journalists on JournOList. Propagandists for Marxists and Progressives.
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A Constellation of Idiots in a Galaxy of Fools
It is better to be drunk than wasted
Pants down, Hands in the Nookie Jar
Sex, Drugs and Mothers Behaving Badly
Alex Jones, Fall of the Republic, Infowars, The Obama Conspiracy
7 Sure Fire ways to Lose Money!
Is Al Gore a Crazed sex Poodle?
