Homeland Security has declared me a suspicious character because on one of my identifying documents my birth date differs by 2 days from all the other documents.
Gosh, if I had been born in Mexico or Hawaii no one would ask to see my birth certificate. In fact, if I was born in Mexico or Hawaii I could break any law I wanted. But alas, I am an average American slave. The laws were made for me to follow and not for foreign-born Marxist Muslims or illegal aliens.
Well, to be honest, the job I am applying for does require a stringent screening process. You know that device called the automatic cat scratcher? Well I am the guy who adjusts the mouse tickler on the automatic cat scratcher. It’s an important job with earth shaking ramifications. Why with one wrong turn of screw there could be an international incident or the stars could be turned out of their courses. It is an awesome responsibility but it is my cross to bear.
Compared to the narco-terrorists and illegal aliens that the government encourages to cross our undefended borders daily, clearly I am surely a more worrisome proposition.
Moreover, you couldn’t ask a foreign-born Marxist Muslim applying for high government job to produce his birth certificates. It might hurt his feelings.
I feel safe just knowing that a military veteran such as myself has been targeted by the feds and that I am in the cross hairs of DHS as a person deserving further scrutiny. Why I might have done something terrible such as having a legally obtained social security number when applying for a job. Everyone knows that the feds prefer those illegally obtained social security numbers that undocumented aliens use when they get a job.
The laws were forged entrap and ensnare law-abiding folks like me. Gosh, I hope I remember to sit down, shut up and maintain a look of reverence in the face of my government betters and masters.
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It’s a Joke. Really.
Someone stumbled across some old jokes. Some really old jokes. From Roman times. Are they funny? Are dead slaves funny? hmmm….
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