Thursday, November 25, 2010

Feeling Fat After ThanksGiving? Healthy Dieting Tips.

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Eat as Much as You like and Still Lose Weight

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Unless you are on a fried chicken diet–with extra grease–it is going be be difficult for you to stay fat after you cut out all the sodas and drink water only as well as give up all cakes, crackers, bread, cookies and pies. Even people on protein diets have been shown to lose weight. Unless we are prepared to accept the proposition that you alone on the surface of the earth, violate the laws physics by gaining massive weight through the exposure to sunlight, we are forced to the conclusion that if you consume fewer calories you will lose weight.  One guy ate only Twinkies and lost weight.  What makes drinking soda such a mistake is that you take in the calories without realizing it. Switch to water or tea without sugar and you will be amazed how much easier it is to control your weight.

There may be some exceptions to the rule. You maybe on one of those sleeping pills that cause you to cook up and eat a 7 course meal in your sleep. Or perhaps alien zombies from the plant Uranus kidnapped you and after the prerequisite amateur proctology lessons, they injected you with space aged synthetic fat molecules until your eyeballs were swimming.

If on the other hand you have found a way to put on the pounds merely by inhaling oxygen, then all I can say is Eureka!. At long last the Holy Grail of modern science has been discovered. We are a living perpetual motion machine. We shall discard our gerbils and take you and others of your kind and put you all in giant hamster balls. You shall power our cars and fuel our society. Since you have the ability to transmute nearly weightless gasses into heavy matter we shall dub thee Super Gerbil and thou shalt be declared to be cooler than desk top nuclear fusion.

 

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Crazy and Unique Weight Loss and Dieting Plans

First the Universal Dieting tips:

  1. There is no minimum daily requirement for refined sugar
  2. Drink 8 glass of water per day
  3. Stop drinking soda pop

Now on the to festivities:

Imagine a diet that consisted largely of vinegar.  Or a diet where you could eat as much food as you wanted, but not the kind of food you like.  Read them and weep:

Twenty Dieting Tips

Eat as Much as You like and Still Lose Weight

Delicious Monster Diet

Lose Toxic Fat

Tea Diet

Sugar in your Gas Tank not in your Stomach

Eating Bald

Cancer and the Miracle Fruit

Eating Bugs

Movie Star Diet

The United Nations Diet

Purple Diet

Maple Syrup Diet

Raw Food Diet

Hey, the Rat likes it!

Wine Diet

Delicious Monster Diet

Blue Food Diet

The Green Tea Diet

Toxic Diet

Ever heard of the Parasite Diet?  How about the Mastication Diet.

A History of Dubious Dieting

Most Radical Diets

Purple Food Diet

No Cooked Fruit Diet

No Fructose Corn Syrup Diet

Vinegar Diet

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Weird Diets:

Eating Fire Ants

The Chewing Gum Diet

Chewing the Fat

Golf Balls Killed the Loch Ness Monster

Aphrodisiac

Scientific Serendipity

Jello and Broccoli

Edible Pets

Delicious Monsters

Pizza Squirrel

Sugar in your gas tank

Texas Toast

Edible Flowers

Gift Wrapped Garbage

It is better to be drunk than wasted

Easter Eggs

Eating bacteria

Why you are fat

KudzuFire

Lying about your diet

Twenty Dieting Tips

Eat as Much as You like and Still Lose Weight

Delicious Monster Diet

Lose Toxic Fat

Tea Diet

Sugar in your Gas Tank not in your Stomach

Eating Bald

Cancer and the Miracle Fruit

Eating Bugs

Movie Star Diet

The United Nations Diet

Purple Diet

Maple Syrup Diet

Raw Food Diet

Hey, the Rat likes it!

Wine Diet

Delicious Monster Diet

Blue Food Diet

The Green Tea Diet

Toxic Diet

Posted via email from poetryman69's posterous

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