En masse, fans of the Dallas Zombies considered telling the Boys to Man-Up. But taking a cue from the behavior of the coaches and players of the Dallas Quit Boys, the fans decided: Who cares? No one on the team knows how to man-up any way. And even if they did, they couldn’t be bother to do it.
Hey if the job of of highly paid running back is to find a place to lay down as quickly as possible, pay me a tenth of the combined pay of your “triple threat” and I will go take a nap for you right now.
Someone threw me a piece of candy and I dropped it. Hey I could be a star receiver for the Dallas Cowgirls!!!
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Cowboys and Zombies
What am I saying! The Dallas Cowboys are Zombies. At least they play like the living dead.
The effective end of the 2010 NFL Season for the Dallas Cowboys demonstrates several things. First it shows the vast difference between “confidence” and “competence”. Fans were treated to endless lectures from Cowboys players and staff about how confident they were as they screwed around during pre-season and how confident they still all were as they lost game after game during the regular season. Sorry guys but you are obsessed with the wrong “C” word. It is not “confidence” that wins football games. It is “competence”. Some say that competence is about doing the little things right. Little things like avoiding drive killing penalties and interceptions, or even doing some blocking once in a while.
Speaking of “C” words another one we were endlessly exposed to was “cohesion”. We were told the Cowboys had good unit cohesion. That they worked well together and like and admired each other. So does a bar full of drunks. If I want to assemble a bunch of losers in a mutual admiration society I will join a political party or attend a Hollywood awards show.
It is far less important that you love your teammates like some kind of smarmy drunk and far more important that someone, perhaps a teammate, because the coaches sure ain’t doing it, let you know that you need to cut the crap and get with the program because you just cost us the game! Since guys who cause the team to lose in effect take an extra pay check out of everyone’s pocket, they are costing everyone money.
Since they won’t actually be playing for anything this year, maybe the Cowboys could go Trick or Treating on Halloween. They could pretend to be decent football team. Or they could go as themselves. Zombies are all the rage.
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Best Glue Sniffer on the Short Bus Award
Audio Auto-eroticism and Verbal Flatulence
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